Part 27 - Chapter 6 - Goodbyes

After saying goodbye to the neighbors as Jeanette picked up her children, Blaine went into the bedroom where Reese was staring blankly at a book in front of her.

"Hey, is everything ok?"

"Fine."

"I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning about agreeing to babysit. I should have talked it over with you first, but they were in a jam and I wanted to help out."

"I don't mind that you didn't tell me. It's just that I'm not that comfortable around kids," Reese reluctantly admitted. "I don't know what to do or how to act around them. Even when I was one myself at the orphanage, I didn't know how to deal with the other kids. There were so many troublemakers and rowdy kids, I found it easier just to keep to myself."

"Not all kids are like that. Some are easier to handle, like I'm sure ours would be. We're both pretty easygoing, so I'm sure they'll be well behaved too." When Reese bit her lip and skeptically looked away, he added. "And it's different when they're your own kids, at least that's what I've been told."

Unable to avoid the truth any longer, Reese blurted out what had been on her mind for weeks. "I don't think I want to have kids."

"It won't be that bad."

"No, I mean it. I really don't think I want to have kids. I don't see how children would fit into my life with my career and the way things are."

"Maybe not right now. I'm not saying right away," Blaine said slowly, trying to grasp what she was so upset about. "But someday . . ."

Reese shook her head. This was so hard for her to say. "I don't think I want to have kids, ever. I'm just not the mothering type, Blaine."

"Maybe you are and don't realize it. You're sweet, smart, and caring. I think you would make a great mother. I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit."

"Maybe I just don't want to be the mothering type, then." As Blaine paused to think, she added quietly, "I've been wanting to tell you how I feel for a long time. Every time you bring up marriage and kids, I've wanted to say something, but I didn't know how and I don't know what to say now to make you believe me. You have to believe that I do know what I want and what I don't want."

"Do you want a life, a future with me?"

"Yes. I mean, I think so."

"But definitely not a family?"

Reese thought carefully. The word "family" always made her think of the family she'd never had and never knew anything about. Now that she knew the whole truth, it made her think of the circumstances surrounding her birth. "Family" did not feel like a positive thing to her. She looked down and slowly shook her head.

"Well, I do want a family someday," Blaine said firmly. "I want a wife and kids. I want a family to love and share my life with. It's something I've wanted for a long time and I thought that would be something you would want to."

Reese shrugged and stared at the floor. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes.

"Then where are we going in this relationship? Where does this leave us?"

"I'm not sure . . . Maybe we've been moving too fast."

"Apparently we are . . .You know, if we're going to be together. I want us to really be together. I want to know this is going somewhere."

"I just don't know what to say, Blaine. I don't know."

"Then maybe I should give you some time to sort this out yourself," he said as he turned, walked out of the room, out of the house, and out of her life.

"How are you enjoying your day here?" the stylist asked Amanda.

"Fine. Everything has been great."

"I'm glad to hear it. Is there anything else we can do for you?"

"Uh, no. I think we are about ready to leave."

"Should I get your bill ready then?"

Amanda looked startled for a moment, "I'd better ask Vanessa about that. She's paying. I'm just here as her guest."

"That's fine. Take your time."

As Amanda walked away, she started to wonder where Vanessa had disappeared to. The last time she saw her, they were talking about the baby shower they were going to have for Alma and when to have it. Vanessa excused herself to get her day planner from the car, but that had been awhile ago and Amanda thought she would have been back by now.

After waiting a few minutes more, Amanda decided to find out what was keeping her.

Amanda walked outside just in time to see Vanessa's car backing out of the parking lot. She started forward, about to call out, but before she could make a move, the car was speeding away down the street, leaving Amanda wondering what was going on.