Vanessa turned down the hospital cooridor to find Amanda staring longingly at the babies in the nursery.
"There you are. We'd wondered where you'd disappeared to," Vanessa said softly as she stood next to Amanda and looked through the window. "They're precious, aren't they?"
"They are."
"How are you doing, hun? How are you coping with all the baby excitement, really?"
"I'm trying to stay positive, I really am, but it's not easy. I want to be happy for Alma and Ed, but all I can think about is how much I wish it was me."
"I know. I'm sorry it's not you too, hun."
"I'm tired of just feeling sorry for myself all the time, so I made an appointment with a fertility specialist. If all else fails, I guess there's always adoption, but I really want the experience of having my own child."
"I know what you mean. I'd love to have that experience someday too, but at this point I doubt I ever will. If you find you can't get pregnant for whatever reason, adoption might be better than you think. I'm not so close to my adoptive parents now, but growing up with them was good. I never felt like I was adopted. We were just a family and it never mattered that we weren't related by blood." Vanessa grew quiet a moment, regretting how much their relationship had changed.
"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad."
"I think I'm going to take one more look at our nephew before I head out. Want to come with me?"
"Ok," Amanda agreed and took one last longing look at the babies before following Vanessa down the hall.
"Let's change the subject," Cassandra suggested as she and Eileen sat down to enjoy their drinks. She was tired of talking and thinking about all the drama in her own life. "How have you been, Eileen? What have you been up to lately?"
"Not much," she replied. "I've been looking for a job, but I'm really not sure what I want to do. I'm thinking about starting my own business or something."
"What kind of business?"
"I'm not sure. I think it might be neat to have a little shop downtown, like a little clothing boutique."
"Sounds like fun. If you do, maybe I could come work for you. It's got to be better than working at the diner. It's good you're dating Lawrence, he should know all about business and how to get started."
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking too."
When Eileen fell silent, Cassandra sensed something she hadn't noticed earlier. Being so wrapped up in her own thoughts about Blaine, she hadn't noticed that something seemed to be weighing on her friend's mind as well. "Is everything alright with you and Lawrence?"
"Yeah, we're fine."
"Are you sure? It seems like something's off."
"It's nothing . . . I just thought things were about to get more serious between us, but it's fine, really. I'm sure it's better to take things slow anyway."
Cassie looked thoughtful for a second then her face suddenly brightened and she could hardly contain a smile. "Don't worry about it. You are going to get exactly what you hope for and sooner than you think," she said before adding silently, "I just wish I could say the same for myself."
"What do you say? Will you give us another chance?"
Reese swallowed hard, her throat suddenly felt completely dry. The words were at her throat. All she had to do was tell him. It was what he wanted. She knew he would be happy and that he would do everything he promised. He could take care of the baby and she could continue her career. The news would completely solve their problem. But would it really?
Instead of telling him the truth, she just shook her head. "No, I can't. I think breaking up was the right thing for us to do. How could we ever make each other happy when we both want different things? I'm sorry. I don't want to get back together."
"Are you serious?" Blaine asked, feeling like his heart had fallen into the pit of his stomach. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He'd felt so hopeful when he came here. He thought she'd at least give him a chance and talk it out, but she just turned him down flat. "Isn't there anything I can do or say to change your mind?"
"No. I'm sorry, Blaine."
He stood slowly from his chair and turned towards the door without looking at Reese. "Then I guess I should go. I guess this is goodbye." He hesitated a moment, giving her one last chance to change her mind. When she didn't say anything, he walked out the door.
As Reese stood in the doorway, watching him walk away, she wondered what she was going to do.
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